Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too
by Vicky Strife
Summary: "I hate you, Ragnar Lothbrok. And I love you with all my heart. Why do you tear me away from myself !" - As surely as the river flows to the sea, Floki met Ragnar many winters ago, and he drowned.


**I wanted to propose some sort of an origin story of Ragnar and Foki's relationship (sorry I just can't call that a « friendship », it's much more and Floki would agree with me). We only know that Floki « has known Ragnar for a long time » and - SPOILER for season 3 - that he « loved him more than anyone ». Damn, that scene made me cry, Gustaf is such a great actor Q_Q**

 **The title comes from the obnoxiously beautiful song « Can't Help Falling in Love ».**

 **Enough talking enjoy !**

* * *

Floki remembers how he and Ragnar met.

He remembers everything, vividly. The boys from Kattegat were shoving him, a circle of excited shouts and despising laughter, him, a fish trying to slip out of the net. They were calling him « _Loki_ » but Floki is no god, Floki is just a man, he knows it, he always knew it.

Suddenly, the circle breaks like a skull and a young man enters it, harshly pushing the other ones out of his way. The sun is shining behind his silhouette and Floki is blinded, then his eyes discern him, and he is blinded another time.

In his icy, vibrant blue eyes, he sees _Odin_. He sees _Huginn_ and _Muninn_ , perched on each of his broadening shoulders.

He sees a storm on the ocean, hears the thunder and the ravens' caws, feels steel in his flesh, fire against his skin.

Floki is the one to laugh now, and he laughs until his ribs hurt and the boys are freaked out. They finally understand why their parents warned them about him, because madness cannot be explained, it can only be _experienced_.

But Floki had forgotten about their very existence. He was staring at his savior with a gleeful smile on his thin lips, remain of his hysterical burst of laughter. The boy was looking at him, fond and curious.

He held his hand out to Floki and the latter took it with no hesitation.

A strong arm pulled him back on feet he had not realised were not supporting his weight anymore then wrapped around his nape, leading him away from the village.

On the shore, they both sat on a fallen tree, and the boy giggled :

\- Why do you keep staring at me like that, almost-Loki ?

His voice sounded wise for such a young lad. Floki carefully leaned towards him, as if he were about to tell him a dark secret :

\- Because I saw Odin favored you ! he whispered with an excited squeak.

The boy did not seem surprised, only... conforted in his belief. Floki's brow furrowed was it possible that he knew ? That he was _like him_ ? No, no one is like him, Floki is the only one, _Floki is alone_ …

\- I am Ragnar Lothbrok.

\- … Floki.

He began swinging back and forth on the mossy tree, anxiously biting his nails.

Ragnar noticed the abrupt change in his mood but did not ask about it. He just studied him with an indecipherable expression and Floki grew incredibly self-conscious and angry because he thought he could decipher everything, the Gods' wishes, the seasons, the language of the animals, of the trees, of the plants….

Ragnar eventually chuckled and turned his attention back to the fjords. Floki felt relieved.

\- Why did you not defend yourself earlier ?

His tone was soothing, non-judgemental. He reminded Floki of his mother he bit his nail until he bled.

\- I do not need to defend myself… If the Gods want me to die, I will die happily, he sighed, gazing at the drop of blood forming on his fingertip.

That time, Ragnar seemed surprised.

\- Don't you want to go to Valhalla ?

\- No, no ! I do not deserve it, not Floki, Floki is just a fool…, he shushed Ragnar as if he had said the most unreasonable of things.

Without warning, Ragnar took Floki's hands in his own, the heat of his skin contrasting with the cold of his eyes. Floki instinctively tried to free himself from his iron grip but he could not the boy might be a few years younger than him, yet, he was tougher. But he did not mean any harm :

\- It is a shame you can see the worth in others but nothing in yourself, Floki.

Floki's belly made a strange flip when he heard him pronounce his name.

\- I saw your sculptures in the woods… The Gods hid gold in here.

Ragnar stroked his palms with his thumbs, drawing idle patterns which hypnotized Floki as easily as the melody of his bone flute did with a snake he had once caught in the mountains.

Ragnar stilled, making him look up to him :

\- Let us be friends, what do you think ?

Floki was bewildered. No one had ever asked him before. He managed to nod eagerly, the rythm erratic, as his heartbeats' one.

\- Good. I have to go home. See you later !

He got up and walked away in the direction of Kattegat, his tunic flapping in the wind like a banner, his stride proud and confident.

Floki stayed on the beach until darkness fell on Midgard, still feeling Ragnar's heat on his slender hands and the weird sensation in his chest.

He did not quite know what all of it meant, but he knew for certain that the Gods henceforth had a rival in his heart.

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 **~ The Gods would be thankful if you left a comment (ok especially me) ~**


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